Why people come to see me
People come to counselling for all sorts of reasons. I work with things like relationships, anxiety, depression, self-esteem, and sometimes simply the sheer weight of being alive.
There are also some areas I’m particularly interested in – either because I’ve lived them myself, or because they matter to me personally:
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When we lose someone or something, it can seem as though the world carries on like nothing’s happened, whilst for us everything can feel like it’s changed. Grief is different for everyone. There’s no textbook, no set of stages or timeline that you have to follow, and no right way to experience it. And sometimes we can grieve things we haven’t actually lost yet — a relationship that is changing, a future that no longer looks the way we imagined, or a version of life we thought we’d have. Your experience of loss belongs to you.
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Sex, sexuality, attraction, identity, shame and desire can be some of the most important and defining parts of who we are. They can also be some of the most difficult, exposing and complicated things to talk about. Things we might never have shared because we’re worried about what we might be risking by being honest, or because we’re not even sure how to make sense of them ourselves.
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In society, we tend to talk a lot about the joys and rewards of parenting, but what about the exhaustion, guilt, fears and self-doubt? In today’s world, there’s so much pressure to get parenting ‘right’, but what does that even mean? Parenting can be isolating, overwhelming and even frightening, particularly when the things you’re experiencing don’t fit with the version of parenthood you thought you were supposed to have.
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We all grow up with ideas about what it means to be male or female / masculine or feminine, what we should be like, how we should behave and what we should or shouldn’t feel. These labels, and the expectations they carry, can shape us and leave very little room to simply be ourselves in the world. What happens when who you are doesn't fit with what you’ve been told you’re supposed to be?
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I don’t believe drugs and alcohol are inherently good or bad. They’re substances, and what matters is the relationship we have with them and the effect they have on us as individuals. They can bring joy, relaxation, and open us up to new experiences and insights. They can also become harder to keep a handle on and start affecting our relationships and sense of self.
For me, drug and alcohol use isn’t a moral issue. Our relationships with them are deeply personal, and they can change over time.
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Our experiences of consciousness can be stranger and more varied than we often have language for. Psychedelics, meditation, dreams, breathwork and other altered states can bring profoundly meaningful, confusing or frightening experiences. Sometimes it can be difficult to make sense of what you’ve been through, particularly when it doesn't fit neatly into the way we usually understand ourselves or the world around us.
My interest here is in hearing about and understanding your experience, rather than providing advice about taking substances or encouraging their use. I don't provide medical or psychiatric advice, nor do I provide trip preparation or trip sitting. Any decisions about substance use or treatment should be discussed with an appropriately qualified professional.
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Questions about meaning, purpose, faith, spirituality and what it means to be alive can emerge at any point in our lives. Sometimes they come through grief, crisis or periods of change. Sometimes they’ve been there bubbling away for years. Our beliefs can give us a sense of meaning and belonging, but they can also be a source of uncertainty, conflict or doubt. Sometimes we simply find ourselves questioning whether we believe anything at all.
I don’t see it as my role to find meaning or answers for you. I’m open to exploring whatever you believe, or don’t believe, without needing it to fit with my own beliefs or worldview.